Heartbreak

It breaks any mother’s heart when they hear their baby cry. When they are colicky, it’s heartbreaking b/c there is nothing you can do. When they hurt themselves or get their dr. visit’s shots, there isn’t much a mother can do but hold her little one and help them ride out the pain.

I think the hardest is when you let them cry it out, knowing that you can do something about it. A few times I’ve tried the “cry it out” approach for sleeping but I think he was just too early. Hearing him screaming with tears just absolutely killed me. So I stopped that approach – 2 months ago.

Last week we went back to the cry it out approach. He’s a great sleeper, when sleep time occurs, he doesn’t like to be rocked or held, he want to be put down and he’ll fuss a bit then just go to sleep, which is great, but come 11pm he would cry for his feedings. I knew he was doing it b/c he senses his tummy was empty and wanted it to be filled. So I braced myself and decided to begin his “cry it out” again.

We’re now at a full weeks worth and he is sleeping from 7pm until 2am, where he begins to cry and we do feed him. Gradually we’ll work on getting him to sleep through the night. I guess I’m sort of taking the cry it out approach with a slight modification that suits us. Of course if his cries change from just whimper “pick me up and comfort me” to a “I’m in pain” then we do accommodate.

No matter what it still breaks my heart but in the end I know he needs to learn to comfort himself and that I won’t always be there for him. I’m sure my sense of guilt will put me into appeasing him in another way.