Far Far Away

In about a little over a week I'll be leaving my little man for the first time EVER. I have never been away from since the day he's been born. Even leaving for a dinner at work was hard enough for me and that was when he was 8 months old.

I am leaving him for 8 days. Which is more than I can bear and the only saving grace is that this trip was planned too quickly for me to stop and think. I fear that if I were to stop and think my heart may break into pieces.

I'm going to India for work. Things at work spiraled quickly and instead of having to prepare for an original date of end of year, I'm not leaving in 9 days.

I had always wanted to go visit India and this is a GREAT opportunity for me and very necessary with what I do that I need to go, so the fact that I have little choice (so I tell myself this to be able to cope) it makes it easier, but each night when I go to bed I toss and turn b/c I know each night brings me closer to the day I leave.

This also means that Tim has Jacob for 8 days! He's already taking care of him during the day and now he'll have to do it all day and night. I hope his mother can come to help out. I know that my sister will be over to help out.

Anyway, so I'm preparing, packing and emotionally trying to come to terms with the fact that I'll be gone soon.

I admit that deep down inside my biggest fear is that I'll go away and come back to him and he'll look at me with that same apprehension that he has when he sees other people he'd forgotten about and the way he clings to me for dear life, but this time he'll be clinging to someone else b/c he would have that to me...ugh!!!! If that were to happen I think I would DIE!

God help me!!!